escorting the bride or groom

A “wedmate” is any person who is soon to be wed (see Margo’s creation of this word on this link). The primary responsibility of the Escort of bride or groom, is to provide stability and comfort. How you hold each other’s arms/hands makes this job easier and graceful, or VERY much harder. The bride actually holds on to the escort, whomever that is. Grooms have more choices.  In any case, here are do’s and don’ts of escorting with grace and style (demo photos at bottom):

  • Women only hold on to Men
  • Men never hold Women:  Man offers his elbow or leveled hand, and graciously lets her grab on. (IF man holds bride’s elbow or arm, it looks like he is a prison guard frog-marching an inmate!  Only if bride is stumbling or falling, do you grab her arms or body…avoid pulling dress or veil. Before starting, ask her if walking in this dress and shoes is easy or not, be forewarned)
  • Mom & Dad escorting Bride, either: Bride holds both elbows, or holds dad elbow and hold hands with mom.
  • Two Men escorting Bride, either: Bride holds both elbows, or holds hands with both.
  • Woman escorting Bride:  Bride holds her elbow, or holds her hand.
  • Woman escorting Groom:  Groom offers his elbow or leveled fist, or holds her hand.
  • Man escorting Groom, choices: walk side-by-side without touching and smile at each other occasionally. Or they may hold hands (typically with close relations, such as father/son or brothers), or escort puts 1 hand on groom’s shoulder or arm-around him.
  • Mom & Dad escorting Groom, either: Groom holds hands with both, or mom holds Groom’s elbow and dad holds other hand. IF menfolk are uncomfortable holding hands:  link elbows, or put hand on groom’s shoulder, or walk side-by-side without touching.

LADIES:  When holding an elbow or fist, don’t just flop your hand on it limply… looks wimpy in photos and doesn’t serve you. Actually grip the inside of escort’s elbow, or top of the fist, or simply hold hands.  YOUR BOUQUET: you can hold your bouquet in 1 hand, inside elbow of any escort. Or if one escort, hold it in your other, free hand.

MEN: When offering a leveled fist, its same gesture as offering elbow… but the lady chooses if she wants to grab elbow or grab top of your fist. When offering your elbow, then rest that open palm on your belly, not a fist, not limp. Optionally, you can put your other hand on hers too.