Pastor Margo Ross Sears is the Wedding Whisperer, a certified life coach, popular photographer, senior pastor of her church at Beachpeople Weddings. This featured article is published quarterly in a wedding magazine too! Read on….
Dear Wedding Whisperer,
Thanks in advance for any help you can offer us. We want to do a Unity Candle ceremony but its outdoors in the wind, and we might want to include our 3 small children… so what are some alternatives for us? Got ideas?
Janet & Chet, Wilmington
Dear Janet & Chet,
There are ideas! You are welcome! Sand ceremony, everyone with their own color comes is popular. OR you can use a bigger glass vessel and pour different colors of dry rice, beans, corn, barley, wheat, poppy seeds, sesame seeds, etc. If kids are babies or have physical issues, keep it simply—have a lovely, empty vase with water, and let everyone add their own flower or flowers to it. You can also pour sand or grains into a wedding frame box, or as a group assemble a simple Cross wedding kit together. Or you can give each child a keepsake bracelet or necklace or pin (right after you two exchange rings).
Dear Mrs. Whisperer,
My lovely and brave fiancée will be moving here from Panama to be my bride, bless her. We want to have our ceremony near my family in Wilmington, so do you have tips on getting a marriage license for a non-US citizen, please?
Sgt. Robert, US Army
Hello Sergeant,
Thank you for your service. Good news… NC marriage license laws are very foreigner friendly! Please call the New Hanover County Registrar of Deeds office to get their schedule of hours open, and which IDs they need from both of you: 910-798-7758. You both must go in-person to get one, and they take cash only. ¡Felicitaciones!
Dear Wedding Whisperer,
Length of a ceremony… I’m a former Catholic, never married, and my partner was raised agnostic. We want a non-denominational ceremony. How long does that take? Martha, Ohio
Dear Martha, For non-denominational the speaking part by itself takes averages 7-9 minutes. The shortest possible is about 5 seconds (only 1 short sentence + a valid license is required by law) and the longest ones are about 20 minutes. BTW, humans (a.k.a. guests and loved ones) get bored and wander off mentally after 12-15 minutes tops! Add on 5 more minutes for the processional and 10-15 minutes for guests to take seats or assemble and settle down, too.
Greetings Miz WW,
What is the coolest way you’ve seen people have a ring bearer? Judi, WVA
Hello Judi, I photographed a trained hawk bringing in the rings when the groom wore a glove with meat and whistled. The redtail hawk had the rings in a leg bag, and groom removed it while the hawk feasted on a snack. Then the trainer whistled for the hawk and it flew back to him. The 50 guests were silently amazed except an occasional whispered “oh!”
The second coolest was when the couple convinced her 6-year-old son that all ringbearers wear a bear costume to be a real “ring bear” so he would have wear one too! He looked adorable.
Hello Wedding Whisperer,
We love kids. We have relatives and friends with kids. We also love our expensive wedding plans for an elaborate celebration that does not include children or teens. There are too many elements that would bore them, and not much that would entertain a child, the food is sophisticated, and music quality is a priority, so crying and shrieking aren’t going to cut it. What is the current polite way to tell guests “no kids please”? Ernesto & Toni, Carolina Beach
Hello Ernesto,
Sounds like a great time! People use their wedding website to announce “adults only” and avoid negative wording on the invite such as no kids or restricted. Name precisely WHO is invited clearly on the envelope and invite. You can explain the noise level, adult levels of entertainment and complex menu are not suitable for children. Be sure to send invites several weeks or months in advance so parents can find sitters. Immediately call any parents who miss the hint; thank them for replying, and politely explain that this is a date-night event, not a family affair, and in the rollout convo mention their lovely kids would be bored and hungry, so let them enjoy a movie and games night at home.
Dear Wedding Whisperer,
Why do people put out baskets of paint brushes on the boardwalks at beach weddings? Mattie, Myrtle Beach
Dear Mattie, those are for inlander guests who are not accustomed to Beach Life at the coast… They can use the brushes to get sand off their feet and shoes when they step off the strand. And then the brush becomes a souvenir if you decorate it!
